Scott Andrew NICHOLSON

"I should be on the Wall." I was once a Policeman, I served you for years, I saw so much pain, It reduced me to tears. I saved many lives, Did the best I could do, I served with distinction, All to protect you. Year after year, Without self regard, I lived for the job, No matter how hard. The toll it was taking, Eventually broke through, My brain now was broken, I did not know what to do. I keep telling myself, It will get better in time, Just keep pushing yourself, All will be fine. But it did not get better, It only got worse, The trauma I suffered, Became my own curse. It brought to an end, The job that I live, I can't do this anymore, No more I could give. The pain did not stop, In fact it just grew, The demons took over, I did not know what to do. I was empty inside, Lost and in pain, I tried to fight on, But I could no longer remain. The trauma had won, I saw no other way, So I took my own life, On a cool summer day. It was because of Policing, You all know it's true, It destroyed who I was, From the things I went through. The trauma of death, Seen hundreds of times, The witnessing of evil, The wickedest of crimes. Yet now I'm forgotten, By the job I died for, Even though I gave my all, After everything I saw. If I had died on duty, Answering the same call, You would all see my name, My name on the wall. I was still on duty, I just could not let go, I was still a Policeman, My brain made it so..... Written 12.2.15.

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